The Cave of Cowboys
by AlyssPotter
Summary: Though being a superhero often meant being a little weird, this was just over the top. In which Wally owns a cow ("I wanted 17 caribou; is that too much to ask?"), Aqualad learns Chinese ("Of course I know-how!"), and Robin and Conner are royalty ("What do you mean my name is Charlotte?"). Full Summary inside. CRACK!


**A/N**

 **Sooooo...I got bored one day on the bus and...ya...**

 **Summary: Though being a superhero often meant being a little weird, this was just over the top. Artemis sighed as Kid Flash and his army of cows chased after Aqualad (who was cursing in Chinese), while Conner and Robin (the latter who was cackling) stood to the side in their princess dresses. In which Wally owns a cow ("I wanted 17 caribou; is that too much to ask?!"), Aqualad learns Chinese ("Of course I know-how!"), and Robin and Conner are royalty ("What do you mean my name is Charlotte?!").**

 **Song(s):**

 **Thrift Shop- Macklemore and Ryan Lewis ft Wanz**

 **(I had absolutely no idea what song to use)**

 **Disclaimer: I wish I owned even a fraction of some sort of right!**

 **The Cave of Cowboys**

Artemis sighed as Kid Flash yelled at the shaking delivery man. Her tea was getting cold, and she was honestly too tired to ask the boy why he'd decided to buy a pack of cows. Normally, she would completely ignore the situation at hand, but as M'Gann was off with her Uncle training, she was the only one who'd been at the Cave for Wally to nab. She'd resisted, but that boy was insanely strong.

"I wanted 17 Caribou; is that too much to ask?!"

Finally deciding enough was enough, she stalked over to the two and yanked Wally's arm down, causing him to yelp indignantly. She turned and smiled at the cowering worker, "Thank you for delivering this, I'm sorry he's being such a baby," Artemis dug her arm hard into his side to keep him from opening his mouth. "Now, where do I sign...?"

An hour later and Wally was herding the cows to Mount Justice while Artemis rode on her motorcycle and questioned her sanity. She winced and dodged another cow-bomb.

Definintally questioning her sanity.

After she and Wally herded the cows into a make shift pen (super speed did come in handy) Artemis tiredly trudged her way into the Mountain, intent on a shower, her Alice in Wonderland book, tea, and a blanket.

But then she saw Kaldur. And stopped.

"What are you doing?" Artemis asked the Atlantean, who was mumbling something under his breath. He turned and smiled at her.

"Both Robin and Batman suggested I learn more human customs, after the mall fiasco," they both winced, "so I am learning the artful language of Chinese."

Artemis sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Kaldur, you do realize that China is across the ocean? The likeliness of us ever going there is 0. Nein, nicht, nada, zip, no. Besides that, we have translators built into our headsets."

Kaldur smiled at her, calmly turning a page in the book. "I understand, Artemis, but one can never know when such an occasion should arise."

"You want me to test you?" Artemis asked, slinging her legs over the arm of the couch, "My mom taught me the basics, in any case."

Kaldur shrugged noncommittally. Artemis took that as a yes.

"Alright, how do you say hello?"

"Umm, ke-who."

"No, close, but no. It's pronounced Knee-how. Do you get it?"

"Of course I know-how!"

"Uh, that's not what I meant-"

"-FINE! I will show you! I will show you all!" The Atlantean yelled, sweeping his books into his arms and running out the door to the ocean.

Artemis saw his outline jump into the freezing waters. She face palmed. "He does realize the books aren't water proof, right?" she muttered to herself.

Shaking her head in exhaustion, she wearily pushed herself up, lazily walking to the showers.

And once again she was stopped as she saw Robin and Conner. She gaped. They argued with each other, neither acknowledging her. She gaped some more. Finally, Robin caught sight of her in the corner of his eye.

"ARTY!" he shrieked, running over to the wide eyed girl and dragging her over to Conner. He planted her firmly in place and pointed at Conner angrily.

"Tell him he's wrong!"

"Ignore him," Conner growled.

Artemis just continued gaping. Her day could literally not get any crazier than it was now.

Both boys were adorned in long ball gown dresses, with crowns perched onto of their heads. Robin was wearing a red one while Conner was in a pink one.

"Uh-is it, is it princess dress up day?" she managed to get out weakly, voice strangled. She was hallucinating. That was it. Because there was _no way_ in the _name of Batman_ that this was happening. "Get traught, Artemis!" she hissed to herself. She pinched her arm for good measure.

Robin beamed at her. Conner scowled darkly.

"Don't even ask," Conner said, folding his arms self-consciously.

"Aww, but Conner!" Robin pouted, grabbing the older boys arm like a toddler would an older sibling, "we were having so much fun!"

Conner twitched. Artemis gaped. Robin beamed.

"Oh yeah, and your name is Charolette for the day. Just thought you should know," Robin added as an afterthought.

"What do you mean my name is Charolette?!"

"It's legal and everything for a limited time!" Robin said happily, pulling up a legal document on his holographic computer. Sure enough, the name Charolette Kent shone brightly.

Conner fainted, and Robin cackled ominously. Artemis looked at both of them and slid to the floor.

There was something seriously wrong with her teammates.

A loud bang followed by several cuss words Artemis was sure only she understood broke the silence. Conner sat up startled and Robin dragged the older boy to the wall, barley avoiding the wall exploding as a panicking Aqualad burst through, water bearers flashing, followed by Wally and his herd of cows.

What. The heck.

Though being a superhero often meant being a little weird, this was just over the top. Artemis sighed as Kid Flash and his army of cows chased after Aqualad (who was cursing in Chinese), while Conner and Robin (the latter who was cackling) stood to the side in their princess dresses.

Batman was going to-

-BANG! "WALLY WEST!"

"What is going on here?" a dark and dangerous voice growled.

The Team gulped. Batman smirked.

 **A/N**

 **Aaaaand my second crack fix is complete! What did you think?**

 **Me and my subconscious are just a little strange ;)**

 **Anywho, R &R!**

 **Kisses!**

 **Alyss**


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